Lifeline Booklet 2021 Specific to S3

Helping Ourselves and Others

LIFELINE NORTHERN BEACHES

Skills learnt in the Workshop

This workshop has provided the foundational skills to enable you to be alert to common signs or behaviour changes that may occur when you, or someone else is struggling due to burn out or vicarious trauma, to have the confidence to respond appropriately, and to be aware of sources of professional support that you can help them to access using the three Rs framework along with self-care. 1 recognise Know and recognise the SIGNS of burnout and vicarious trauma. Watch for CHANGES in behaviour.

2 respond 3 refer

Approach without judgement. Create a SAFE SPACE to talk. Engage through ACTIVE LISTENING .

Refer to SUPPORTS - personal, professional help or websites, helplines and more information. 4 self-care LOOKING after YOUR- SELF to prevent burnout.

• Recognise burnout - not diagnose it. • Respond - not solve it. • Refer to other professionals who are qualified to diagnose and help. • Self-care - look after YOURSELF to ensure you can help.

AT THE END OF THIS WORKSHOP, YOU CAN:

3

Helping Ourselves and Others

Recognise

signs and behaviour

WHAT IS BURNOUT? Burn-out is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions: feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one's job; and reduced professional efficacy. Burn-out refers specifically to phenomena in the occupational context and should not be applied to describe experiences in other areas of life. However, burnout does not necessarily mean that our view of the world has been changed, or that we have lost the ability to feel compassion for others.

Burnout is caused by untreated stress.

Burnout is a term that has been used since the early 1980s to describe the physical and emotional exhaustion that workers can experience when they have low job satisfaction and feel powerless and overwhelmed at work.

4

Lifeline Northern Beaches

WHAT IS VICARIOUS TRAUMA?

Trauma Principles Trauma is common and it can affect the brain and the way people relate and engage with other people. Behaviours resulting from trauma can be challenging. It is important to return to the question ‘what happened to you’ to move away from the judgement ‘what’s wrong with you’. Working with trauma is hard and takes a toll. It needs to be worked with in awareness and with a strong eye to the significant support needed for this work. Be mindful of the additional resources that are needed when working with trauma, both for you and for the client that you are working with. People overcoming complex trauma need significant support over a long period of time, and the support required may be well beyond the capacity of what you can offer. However, you can be sensitive to the impact of such experiences and be mindful of creating safety for clients that you may be working with. Note that we cannot remove the triggers for people’s trauma, however we can commit to working with them in the present and working toward returning them to safety if they feel unsafe at any point. Be mindful of communication and giving them a choice. Work collaboratively with clients and empower them to be involved in their treatment.

Vicarious trauma (VT) was coined by Pearlman & Saakvitne (1995) to describe the profound shift in world view that occurs in helping professionals when they work with clients who have experienced trauma. Helpers notice that their fundamental beliefs about the world are altered and possibly damaged by being repeatedly exposed to traumatic material. What to do if you recognise the signs in yourself? It can be hard to admit when we are struggling. Notice the stress and the impact of it. Notice what is happening in your body, with your thoughts. What helps? Are you doing the things that used to help or are you too busy? What can you do about it? Remember, if you burn out then everything STOPS . How can you slow down and prevent this?

5

Helping Ourselves and Others

COMMON SIGNS OF BURN OUT AND VICARIOUS TRAUMA

Burnout/Compassion Fatigue

Vicarious Trauma

Cumulative, usually over long period of time

Cumulative with symptoms that are unique to each service provider

Predictable

Less predictable

Work dissatisfaction

Life dissatisfaction

Evident in work environment

Permeaters work and home

Related to work environment conditions

Related to empathic relationship with multiple client’s/patient’s trauma experiences

Can lead to health problems

Can lead to health problems

Feel under pressure

Feel out of control

Lack of motivation and/or energy

Symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder

No evidence of triggers

May have triggers thar are unique to practitioner Remedy is treatment of self, similar to trauma treatment

Remedy is time away from work (vacation, stress leave) to recharge or positive change in work environment (this might mean new job)

Source: When Compassion Hurts: Burnout, Vicarious Trauma and Secondary Trauma in Prenatal and Early Childhood Service Providers

6

Lifeline Northern Beaches

Respond

appropriately and with confidence

Start with a casual invitation if possible, such as:

“ Let’s talk. You don’t seem like yourself lately. Is there something going on?” “I have noticed you seem a little distracted and quiet lately and I am wondering if everything is ok.” “I’ve noticed you don’t seem yourself at the moment. I’m concerned about how you are doing.”

If you suspect someone is experiencing a mental health crisis, reaching out is the first step to providing the help he or she needs to get better. However, one of the most challenging aspects of helping someone is knowing how to approach them and start the conversation to be able to ‘check in’. It is important to choose a suitable time and place to talk where you both feel comfortable, are unlikely to be disturbed and you are feeling calm. Ask yourself, am I ready to focus on the other person? Am I feeling able to help this person now? Sit close enough to be supportive but do not invade their personal space. Let them know you are concerned about them and want to check in that they are ok.

7

Helping Ourselves and Others

ACTIVE LISTENING If your approach is welcomed and the person is willing to talk, give them time to talk through their concerns and show empathy by actively listening. Empathy is, at its simplest, awareness of the feelings and emotions of other people. It is a key element of emotional intelligence, the link between self and others, because it is how we as individuals understand what others are experiencing as if we were feeling it ourselves. You can encourage someone to continue to talk, open- up more freely and explore issues by using encouragers, paraphrasing and summarising 6 . Encouragers are a variety of verbal and non-verbal ways of prompting someone to continue talking. These include non-verbal minimal responses such as a nod of the head or positive facial expressions, verbal minimal responses such as “Uh-huh” and “I hear what you’re saying” or brief invitations to continue such as “Tell me more”.

Any conversation with a distressed person must involve non- judgmental listening with respect, showing empathy and care If the person doesn’t feel comfortable talking to you, encourage them to discuss how they are feeling with someone else and restate that you are concerned about them and you are there for them if they need your help or support.

6 https://www.counsellingconnection.com/index.php/2009/07/21/encouragers-paraphrasing-and-summarising/ 8 Lifeline Northern Beaches

WHAT IF THEY GET ANGRY WHEN I ASK? An angry person usually wants connection or action. They want to be heard and taken seriously. An angry person is in an ‘active’ state, so the person may be more willing to act, make changes or do something. By connecting with an angry person, acknowledging their feelings, and allowing them to calm down naturally, you are showing respect and empathy. It is important to recognize that by acknowledging the person’s anger it does not mean you agree with their anger. ANGER • Keep yourself outwardly calm • Actively listen • Acknowledge their anger • Be aware of your safety • Boundaries – personal, • physical and workplace

Paraphrases capture the essence (or most important details) of what has been said and reflect it back. For example: Original statement I have just broken up with Steve. The way he was treating me just got too much. I tried loads of times to bring it up, but he would just get mad and walk out. It’s a relief now that it’s over. Paraphrased You feel much better after breaking up with Steve. Other examples: • It sounds like you’re feeling…right now • You’re feeling…at the moment • You might be feeling…at the moment • Perhaps you could be feeling... • You look as if you may be feeling... • From what you’re saying... Like paraphrases, summaries restate the key details or points from the conversation. Accurate summaries reinforce that the person has been heard accurately and what they have said is valued by the listener.

9

Helping Ourselves and Others

SKILL CHECKPOINT Responding Appropriately

• Set the scene for good listening • Open the conversation

• Listen and support • De-escalate anger • Check safety

Refer

to professional help

WHAT IF THEY DON’T WANT HELP? 7 • Try to find out if there are any specific reasons why they do not want to seek help. They may be based on mistaken beliefs. You may be able help the person overcome their worry about seeking help. • If the person still does not want help after you’ve explored their reasons, let them know that if they change their mind in the future, they can contact you. • You must respect the person’s right not to seek help unless you believe their life is at risk or there may be a risk, they could harm someone else- if this is the case, ring 000 and stay with them until help arrives.

As an ‘accidental counsellor’ you are not expected to solve someone’s problems, give advice, or diagnose a condition. What is expected though, is that now you have undertaken this training, you will have awareness of support services available locally and online. It is important to ask the person if they need help to manage their feelings and if they do, be able to discuss and encourage the use of support available. As a start, encouraging them to see a GP is a good option (or speaking to HR if this is a work situation).

11 Helping Ourselves and Others

Self Care

looking after yourself

After challenging or emotive interactions, we often ruminate on what has happened and replay the conversation in our heads critiquing ourselves about what we could have done better or should have said differently- this is all normal, but if it gets out of hand by starting to make us feel guilty, anxious or any other negative emotion, then we need to seek help.

After helping someone or being involved in an emotive event, we can experience secondary trauma . Possible signs could be irritability, difficulty concentrating, outbursts of anger, feeling numb or emotionally attached, sleep problems, low mood. If you have been helping someone or are affected by an issue or incident and do not return to normal functioning within 4 weeks, seek professional help for yourself.

DIMENSIONS OF WELLBEING

Physical

Mental

WELL- BEING

Environmental

Professional

Spiritual

12

Lifeline Northern Beaches

How do you currently take care of yourself? Do these strategies include all dimensions of wellbeing?

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION:

Even if you do not experience secondary trauma, it is still important to do some form of self-care.

WHAT IS SELF-CARE? Self-care is the mindset, activities, practices, and habits we bring to bear against stress, unhappiness, illness, depression, and many more negative emotions. However, self-care when practiced with purpose, can help build resilience to stress. Self-care is about giving ourselves relief when we feel overwhelmed. It is about addressing our problems holistically. Self- care activities are usually carried out, or at least initiated by, the person themselves. Self-care helps process the emotion- al reactions that may come up as an Accidental Counsellor.

• Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately and actively plan to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. • Could be debriefing or talking through something after an interaction • It’s an active choice . • “Something that refuels us, rather than takes from us.” considering our needs; it is rather about knowing what we need to do in order to take care of ourselves , to enable us to be able to take care of others as well 7 . • It is not only about

7 https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-self-care-is-and-what-it-isnt-2/

13 Helping Ourselves and Others

SOME IDEAS FOR SELF-CARE

• Take a walk in the fresh air • Sit outdoors by a fire pit, watching the flames • Take a hot shower or a warm bath • Get a massage • Cuddle or walk your pet • Listen to music • Journal • Clean out a junk drawer or cupboard • Read poetry or inspiring quotes • Meditate • Spend time in nature • Write your feelings down • Cry when you need to • Laugh when you can • Go for a walk or a run • Dance • Stretch • Go for a bike ride • Take a nap • Go on a lunch date • Call a friend on the phone • Participate in a book club • Join a support group Listen to this podcast: https://psych- central.com/blog/podcast- self-care- for-your-mental-health/

What self-care practices can you incorporate in your life today?

Self-care is a personal journey and each day life is changing, so it is important to continually look after yourself (i.e. make a habit) and reflect on your health and wellbeing.

14

Lifeline Northern Beaches

Setting Professional Boundaries appropriately and with confidence Failure to set professional boundaries can cause you to burn out from caring for your client beyond what is required of a professional relationship. You can have too much compassion for the client that will make it difficult for you to provide the objectivity your client needs. Boundaries are the limits that allow for safe connections between individuals and protect all parties and set expectations. Outline boundaries clearly at the beginning and only use self-disclosure if you think it is helpful for the client. If a client crosses professional boundaries, then clarify immediately.

Take time to look at the barriers you may encounter when setting boundaries

How might you overcome these barriers?

15 Helping Ourselves and Others

Referral Resources The Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 provides immediate support to anyone feeling suicidal. In addition, they can provide ongoing support with up to six telephone counselling sessions. The Suicide Call Back Service also offers online counselling.

NATIONAL 24HR CRISIS SERVICES

Emergency – Police, Ambulance, Fire Emergency Mobile - no network coverage Lifeline Many Lifeline centres also offer affordable face to face counselling, support groups, online chat and text services.

000

If a life is in danger.

112

13 11 14

www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help

Suicide Call Back Service

1300 65 94 67 www.suicidecallbackservice. org.au

Kids Helpline (5-25y)

1800 55 1800

www.kidshelp.com.au

Poisons Information

131 126

NSW Mental Health Line 24/7

1800 011 511 www.health.nsw.gov.au/mhd- ao/ pages/default.aspx

BeyondBlue

1300 224 636 www.beyondblue.org.au

Mens-Line Australia

1300 78 99 78

www.mensline.org.au

1800RESPECT National Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence Service

1800 737 732 www.1800respect.org.au Excellent resources online

16

Lifeline Northern Beaches

SUPPORT AND INFORMATION SERVICES

Alcohol and Drug Information Service Alcoholics Anonymous Narcotics Anonymous Blue Knot Foundation Specialist phone counselling and support, to help adults trau- matised as children to recover. Butterfly Foundation Eating Disorders Child Protection Helpline

1800 422 599 www.yourroom.health.nsw. gov.au

1300 222 222

www.aa.org.au

1300 652 820

www.na.org.au

1300 657 380 www.blueknot.org.au

1800 33 46 73 www.thebutterflyfoundation. org.au

132 111

Carers NSW

1800 242 636 M-F 9am-5pm

www.carersnsw.org.au

Parents beyond Breakup

1300 853 437 www.parentsbeyondbreakup. com 1800 858 858 www.gamblinghelponline.org. au 1300 555 727 www.relayservice.gov.au

Gambling Help

National Relay Service (Hearing Impaired)

Parent Line

1300 1300 52 www.parentline.org.au

QLife (3pm-midnight) LGBTI+ 1800 18 45 27

www.qlife.org.au

Relationships Australia

1300 364 277 www.relationshipsnsw.org.au

SANE Australia (complex mental health issues & people who care about them)

1800 187 263

www.sane.org

Seahorse Society for Transgender

0490 138 804 www.seahorsesoc.org

13 14 50

Telephone Interpreter Service Twenty10 LGBTIQA+, under 26 years

www.tisnational.gov.au

02 8594 9555 www.twenty10.org.au

Open Arms: Veterans & Families Counselling

1800 011 046 www.openarms.gov.au

17 Helping Ourselves and Others

WEBSITES

BlackDog Institute

www.blackdoginstitute.org.au

Headspace (Mental Health Support Services for youth) Mental Health in Multicultural Australia Mindframe The media and suicide reporting ReachOut! (youth) - webchat Good information for young people and parents Settlement and Multicultural Affairs

www.headspace.org.au

www.mhima.org.au

www.mindframe.org.au

au.reachout.com

www.homeaffairs.gov.au/about-us/ our- portfolios/multicultural affairs

Multicultural NSW

www.multicultural.nsw.gov.au

APPS

BeyondNow

Suicide crisis support app and safety planning tool

Emergency+

Emergency Services & Location finder

18

Lifeline Northern Beaches

Training We have a range of courses to help the community increase capacity and capability to deal with Crisis and Suicide. TELEPHONE CRISIS SUPPORTER Become a professional volunteer for Lifeline by undertaking our Crisis Supporter Workplace Training (CSWT) CRISIS SUPPORT Accidental Counsellor - Duration 4 hours - Online or F2F Accidental Counsellor Plus – Duration 6 hours (includes ‘Helping Ourselves and Others) Online or F2F DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Domestic Violence Awareness - Duration 2 hours Domestic Violence Alert - Duration 2 days Men Who Use Violence – Duration 1 day These training programs can also be tailored to meet your organisation’s needs. Please visit our Lifeline Northern Beaches website: www.lifelinenb.org.au or contact the training team on 02 9949 5522 or training@lifelinenb.org.au for further information.

19 Helping Ourselves and Others

Notes

20

Lifeline Northern Beaches

21 Helping Ourselves and Others

recognise respond refer

Lifeline Northern Beaches PO Box 681 Balgowlah NSW 2093 t: 02 9949 5522 e: training@lifelinenb.org.au w: lifelinenb.org.au

V1.0 - FEB 2021